My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1949 - 1743: The Agony of Losing Memory

No one wants to lose their memory; everything is happiness.

"No matter who among you tells me any promise, I will not believe it. Because the most unbelievable thing in this world is someone else’s promises, which will ultimately turn into lies as time goes by, and no one will fulfill the promises they made!

If you can’t keep the promises you made, then why make promises to others so easily? I still remember what you said before. No matter why you left me back then, I will not forgive you anymore.

I know you are my parents, and I know you are my biological parents. There are some things I can’t change, but there are some outcomes I can handle in any way I choose.

I know that you do not agree with some of my ways of dealing with things because ultimately, those ways hurt some of your emotions, but you don’t understand why I became this way. Every decision I make has a reason, doesn’t it?"

Zhang Zhentian and Xia Jing both knew very well why their son would say such things, because the things they did back then were unforgivable and unacceptable for anyone. As a child, he has done very well to reach this point, forgiving his parents who hurt him time and again without any complaints. Even with a heavy heart, he constantly considered his family and let go of all biases, only to be deceived in return. How could his heart not ache? Everyone has a heart of flesh; if a mistake is made, one will soften upon hearing another’s pleading. He isn’t heartless; when facing his parents, his heart is likewise tortured, conflicted, and uneasy. He doesn’t know what decision to make that would be responsible for his family, his parents, and his household.

In fact, they both know how hard and tired their son’s life has been over the years.

But even knowing what kind of life their child has lived these years, they, as parents, can’t solve these problems. Even knowing who brought upon these pains, they can only pretend to live in his world as if nothing happened because they know any bad action they take could ruin the originally peaceful life, leaving the family unable to continue living.

They also understand that some things, once happened, cannot alter the outcome. Even if the ending would bring them deep pain, they could only silently endure all the suffering, all because of the consequences of their own actions.

"Child, since your mom and dad have promised you this time, you can boldly do whatever you want. We, as parents, will definitely not interfere with any decisions you make. I hope you consider well. If there is anything you need help with, just ask us boldly. We as parents will help you at all costs. We’ve owed you so much, maybe only through this help can we alleviate our guilt. I hope you give us a chance for redemption, once we caused you too much hurt, and we can’t live as we did before. But I am striving to change, changing our life condition within our hearts, changing the way we interact, isn’t it?

I hope you can really give us, as parents, a chance to reform. Leaving you was my deepest pain, I never thought I would have such painful times. I never thought leaving you would become unbearable. Perhaps this is Heaven’s test, making me accept the pain my biological child brought me because of my actions that hurt my family and destroyed everything that should have been happiness. I have no choice but to accept these consequences!

Child, leaving you has caused us the deepest pain in our lives. If you really consider us as your parents, please give us a chance to reform and not end everything. I believe Heaven has eyes. Every action I’ve taken, Heaven sees clearly and distinctly. As long as it’s done, there’s no chance of returning to the beginning. Once a heart is hurt, it’s hurt, with no way to restore it; this is the clearest thing I know. I know I’ve hurt your heart as a child, you already despaired with us as parents. Perhaps we have no way to mend your broken heart, but please believe us, we really can give you a bright future with all our might, because you are our son, we will do everything to help and love you!"

"Then there’s no need to say anymore, just remember it well in your hearts. A disturbed heart can’t return to its original state. You should understand how deeply I was hurt by you. I now hate you deeply, and it’s impossible to forgive you completely because of a few nice words from you. I really can’t do it.

Everyone’s despair is built up bit by bit; disappointment time and again eventually leads to despair. When one person despairs of another, then there’s no chance to return to the beginning in this life. No matter how deeply one loves the other, once hurt, it’s hurt, there’s no way to return to the initial emotional time, so the harm you caused me is something I can never forget in this life. No matter how much love you give me as parents, you can’t make up for the emptiness I felt as a child. The tests and efforts gave me lifelong wounds of ridicule and indifference!"

Losing one’s memory is painful, and retrieving memory is difficult!