I Become the Baby Tiger in a Beast Taming World

Chapter 119 - 116: Breaking the Spell?

"What did you say, my mate?"

She can’t have said what I thought she just said. Calling me by my real human name.

My heart is going to melt down any second. I might pass out. NO. This is not the time to lose control. But if System knows she’s aware...it will punish her. My suffering will be a bonus.

But would it be so bad if she knew? If Amber came back to consciousness in the game, and in the world?

Lightning’s "mrrrp" is bewildered. [I said, "Oh, my mate."]

Hmmm. Not what I heard. However, I can’t ask her about it without her questioning my state of mind. And perhaps I was delusional. Perhaps I imagined what she said, because my thoughts were centered on Amber as well as on Lightning and the cubs.

My mind must have been playing tricks on me. That is it. I heard wrong. She said "mate."

{Lobo?]

My brother responds. [Can we see the cubs yet?]

[Lightning isn’t ready. Wait a bit. In any case, we might have a problem.]

His anxiety spikes. [With the cubs?]

[No. I thought Lightning called me "Josh." Is that even possible?]

Mic drop. Dead silence. That cannot be good. I don’t even feel his shock through the link.

[Lobo?]

A long pause. [I’m thinking! Give me a minute.]

[Sorry.]

Switching focus, because I can multitask, I guard Lightning and the two cubs. A boy and a girl. Closed eyes, little fluffballs, sweet as anything.

[What did she say after that?]

I pause at his inquiry. [I tried to clarify. I said, "What is it, my mate?" And she said that she said, "My mate."]

[Ahhh. So System got control again. But for one shining moment, she was aware of you. She knew. I know she is fighting System in her own way.]

I nuzzle the little fluffball that is my son. My son! He’s a little more than a gleam in my eye, and he’s soft and sleepy and with his eyes shut. But he is my son. My boy. And my daughter is right next to him.

Lobo has a smile in his voice. [Maybe it is the maternal drive that snapped her out of it. What if she remembers more of herself the longer she’s with the cubs? All the more reason for everyone else to leave you alone.]

[Then tell them the cubs are asleep and the mother needs rest.]

Lobo is cheerful. [They’re already leaving. Kasz is standing guard. He loves Raara.]

[Fair enough. Goodnight.]

I don’t mind Kasz staying as our potector. What an irony. He and his goblins once invaded Lammermoor Manor, and now he is guarding the most precious things within its walls.

Lightning yawns. [Aren’t you going to sleep?]

[I’m not the one that just gave birth.]

A sleepy command. [Lie down with us. The cubs want their father.]

They’re not even aware of me. They’ve just been born. However, I’m sure they instinctively know my warmth. So, I settle down beside them, bookending them. Now, they are surrounded by our loving warmth.

Lightning licks me. [I am so tired.]

I close my eyes. [I’ll sleep, and then I’ll keep watch. I love you.]

[Love you...]

How easily I slip into sleep. So uncomplicated in this moment. So...

FLASH.

I am dreaming, I think. Am I? It’s all fuzzy.

But the scene slowly takes shape out of mist.

A woman. Amber. Sitting at her computer. Her shared house is cozy, artsy for a law student. She sits at the computer in the office, which adjoins the living room. The posters and lithographs of Parisian and Italian street scenes and city views always put me in a happy mood. And there’s a poster for the 19th century bohemian cabaret "Le Chat Noir." A scented candle spreads its patchouli through the air. Amber’s soft couch with the slightly scratchy afghan invites me to sit, except I can feel that I am an astral projection. I’m here on a mission.

Rather than legal briefs or case law, the computer displays the high-res graphics of the Tanglewood game. Our tiger den in Lammermoor Manor, naturally. Amber sits in front of it, staring at me.

"I’m here."

My human voice sounds strange to me. I’ll never take its variances for granted again. Rough, smooth, scratchy, clear, loud, soft, yelling, whispering. All of it precious.

"I know." Her voice is water to a man dying of thirst.

"Was that you? In the game? Trying to communicate?"

I hold my breath, assuming I have lungs in this vision.

"Of course it was, but then I was, er, muzzled."

I feel a mix of relief and rage. System has to be destroyed.

"Are you alone? No roommates over your shoulder?"

Of course, this is my way of asking if System is conducting surveillance on our private tête-à-tête.

Amber wrinkles her nose. "I don’t see--"

"Because if they did see me, they would suffer a shock," I continue. "After all, I’m in a coma. And it would be upsetting."

Come on, Amber. See what I’m getting at. You know that System is watching. I know Damon has probably talked to you about this.

Amber looks uncertain, but she finally says, "Right, right. No roommates. It’s just me."

I exhale. "That’s good."

God, I despise being this paranoid, but until System is sent back to wherever it came from, or to a black hole, I have to be cautious. I still don’t know how my communications with Damon in-game remain secure, but I’ll take all the advantages I can get.

"Are you back for long?" she asks softly.

I sigh. "No. Blame my stubbornness. I wish I’d talked to you about this. Me. My health."

"You’re right. I wish you had, too. But this is where we are."

She is so calm. But what did I expect? A meltdown when we are fighting for our lives? Amber genuinely has a cool head in a crisis.

"How are you so calm?"

She cocks her head. "D*mned if I know. But avoiding and being calm are two different things."

That strikes a nerve. "You mean, pretending to be cool, but on the inside, being anything but."

"Aha. You’re learning."

Her smile is an encouraging sliver. Not quite a cheering grin. But then, it has been demonstrated that I’m a bit thick when it comes to emotions, and sharing when I’m struggling. It’s a male thing.

"I am learning, and when I’m back full time, I’ll be that guy who is vulnerable and open--"

A subtle eye roll. "I’m not expecting hearts and flowers all the time, and crying in your coffee."

"God, I hope not. But there’s a happy medium, isn’t there?"

I approach her. Physical contact may be taboo, but her sheer presence, her scent, and her smile lure me in. My instinct center is activated, and I fixate on her. I now can smell her. It’s as if I can see her scent activate my brain, like in my favorite manga and anime, Beastars. The animals i that show definitely employ their sense of smell to the fullest.

How can I smell Amber with such accuracy, as if I have the benefit of my tiger senses? Perhaps astral projection may be responsible. I could still have access to my tiger nose. Or...what if I’m still in the game and this is a System trick?

It might be. In which case, I will have to keep my cards close to my vest. No heartfelt confessions or blurting out our master plan or boasting with heroic braggadocio that we will defeat System once and for all. I despise the way this has to be, but when I’m home, I’ll unplug the virtual world for a long time and live in the real one.

"I wish you could stay," she says, her voice trembling for the first time. "I wish that you’d come out of that coma."

I reach out, wanting to touch her, but forbearing. "I’m doing my best. I’m trying to heal. I’m fighting. Believe me, once I’m back, I’m never leaving again."

"I need your touch," she whispers.

What would it hurt? What more can System do to me? I’ve got to hold her. To feel something alive and real.

My fingers are inches away from danger when there’s a knock on the apartment door. It’s not one of her roommates. They have keys.

Amber, distracted, shouts, "Come in."

Wait, what? No. I have to hide. I have to leave.

The door squeaks open, and I whisper to Amber, "I’ll be back."

I concentrate on the screen, on the high-res tiger den. I can isekai back and re-integrate, right? Concentrate. Focus. Why am I not returning? Come on. There is no way Amber could explain this, and System would know...

A loud gasp from behind makes me freeze. It’s someone who knows me.

Amber stammers, "I didn’t know you were coming over."

Then, my mother’s and father’s voices chorus, "JOSH???"