NABC Chapter 529 Emotions
Chapter 529 Emotions
Xu Si fell into an even deeper silence at Chunhe and Jian Shiyi's words of persuasion.
The blood-red sun's rays poured down from above, making him feel drowsy.
"So you mean—if I want to advance to Sequence Nine, I either need to control my emotions or crush all my opponents?" Xu Si's voice was very soft.
"That's pretty much the gist of it." Wan Liuchun shrugged, lightly tapped his bare feet in the air, and floated to the front of him.
"But I think the first option might be more reliable for you."
Why?
"Because you now have very few rivals," Wan Liuchun said bluntly.
"And haven't you realized you're taking relationships a little too seriously? Yi Yi, Jiao Jiao, your sister, the racing team—can you really let go of any of them?"
"You think you're hiding it well, but it's all written on your face."
Xu Si frowned slightly.
"I didn't hide it."
That being said, he began to reflect on his actions after being reminded by Chun.
Does controlling your emotions mean being more independent?
"Yes, you didn't hide it. That's the problem."
The voice trying to hold onto spring carried a rare, almost helpless sigh.
"Your feelings are too real. So real that they've become a part of you, and you can't distinguish between reason and obsession. If you want to take the first path, the first thing you need to learn is not how to control your feelings, but how to discern them."
Xu Si fell silent again.
Wanliuchun's words were cryptic, but he truly understood them.
Are some things really just his obsessions?
He didn't have the answer in his heart, or rather, he already had the answer but was unwilling to face it.
"Feelings?" He repeated the four words in a low voice, as if chewing on a tasteless stone.
He considered himself to be a person with extremely detached emotions, otherwise he would not have abandoned everything to venture south.
But is this really who I am?
Sword Eleven hovered on the other side, its silver-white blade gleaming with a cold, sharp light in the blood-red sun.
He had nothing to advise Xu Si; his limited experience was not applicable to humans.
After all, killing machines have no emotions; they only have loyalty.
Thoughts are like a torrent; no matter how you try to conceal them, they will eventually burst forth.
Xu Si thought a lot that day.
I feel indebted to Yi Yi.
Guilt towards Jiao Jiao.
Longing for his younger sister.
Responsibility to the team.
Anger towards Hades.
A thirst for power.
Fear of loss.
Confusion about the bizarre apocalypse.
They float up layer by layer, and then sink down layer by layer.
He desperately wished this was a nightmare he could wake up from at any moment.
Xu Si had never felt so tired.
At this moment, emotions seem to have become his heaviest burden.
They kept pushing him forward, while gradually wearing down all his passion, anger, and desire.
He recalled his conversation with his younger sister when he was clearing the source of the plague in the void.
If they had met back then, would Xu Si still have the fighting spirit he has now?
Ever since learning the truth about his sister, and until he rescued Jiao Jiao, Xu Si has been guarding the World Tree and protecting Yi Yi.
Perhaps this is the last remaining bond in his heart?
Facing his inner self, Xu Si realized that he had been searching for a kind of liberation all along.
It is a relief from responsibility.
"Am I really a jerk?"
In a sense, Xu Si is indeed extremely sentimental.
So how can he break through the level of life?
But how does one obtain a divine position?
Is it available at promotion sequence level nine?
Or do I have to wait for others to advance to Sequence Nine, and then kill them all again to obtain it?
Is that still him? Is that still Xu Si? Is that still the Xu Si that his sister knows?
Xu Si suddenly drew the Sword of Kingship from its sheath and couldn't help but laugh self-deprecatingly.
"I'm afraid I might not be willing to kill for the sake of a divine position."
The price of the Sword of Kingship currently has very little constraint on Xu Si, but when he truly examines his heart, Xu Si doesn't know what choice he will make.
Xu Si's expression was somewhat unpleasant. Before he even began questioning him, he had already realized his weakness.
Xu Si sheathed the Sword of Kingship back into its scabbard. The friction between the blade and the scabbard mouth produced a soft, metallic sound that was particularly clear in the silent night sky.
"I don't want to think about it anymore," he said.
"If I can't figure something out, I won't think about it. If I can't understand something, I'll deal with it later. When did I become so indecisive and prone to worrying about gains and losses?"
Xu Si felt that he was becoming less and less like himself.
Could this be a side effect of having too high a life level?
He stood up from the roof of the Nirvana vehicle, his starry eyes shining like two burning embers in the night.
"There are more important things to do now."
"What?" Wanliuchun asked.
"Live in the moment."
Wanliuchun paused for a moment, then a complex expression, neither one of relief nor helplessness, appeared on her exquisitely beautiful face.
"That seems... to be one answer as well."
They had no reason to urge Xu Si to advance to Sequence Nine immediately, even though they all knew how brutal and urgent the final battle of the Chosen Ones was.
But for Xu Si, this might be the optimal solution.
His gaze passed over the canopy of the World Tree and landed on the still-under-construction urban area in the southeast corner of the city.
The place was brightly lit, and Tashan, along with several members of the city defense department, was working through the night to house the newly recruited convoys in the newly built stone house.
The figures moved in the firelight like a swarm of tireless ants.
From that day on, Xu Si began his long period of leisure.
It can't be called leisure either.
Besides spending time with Yi Yi, he usually uses the Star Mirror to explore the Earth planet bit by bit.
See the mountains and rivers, the lakes and seas, witness the bizarre acts of mutual destruction, watch the convoy escape...
Time seemed to stand still for him.
What he does every day is very simple: climb to the top of the World Tree at dawn and watch the blood sun rise from behind the eastern ridgeline, dyeing the whole earth dark red;
During the day, use the Star Mirror to explore every corner of Earth, to see the survivors forgotten among the ruins, and to see the high-ranking eerie creatures that have lost their territorial restrictions wandering the wasteland.
Returning to the World Tree in the evening, I pressed my palm against the rough trunk and exchanged a few simple words with Yi Yi.
They were talking about trivial matters in the city.
He looked forward to the day when they would all speak up and respond to him.
"The watermelon I planted last night is ripe today. I ate a whole one, and it tastes even better than any I've ever had before."
"Dahuang has been acting really badly lately. He stole a whole chicken from the farm, causing Zhao Fei to lose a lot of purification points. That guy was actually pretty convincing at it."
"Fu Xiaojian has finally been promoted to Sequence 5—Head of State. It seems this guy is no longer satisfied with being just a city lord."
……
The World Tree did not respond, but Xu Si was not discouraged, seemingly putting on a one-man show.
He talked more and more with the World Tree and less and less with other people.
Even Fu Xiaojian sensed the strangeness in his current state.
He didn't know whether he should have someone communicate more with Xu Si, and he was even more unsure whether doing so would be good or bad for Xu Si.
Therefore, he trusted Xu Si as much as possible.
And try to keep others from bothering Xu Si as much as possible.
He didn't know if this was the right thing to do.
But he believed in Xu Si.