NABC 1136: Toilet God
1136: Toilet God
In ancient times, those who played uprising routines liked to pretend to be gods and ghosts, and used the power of ghosts and gods to increase their prestige. To put it bluntly, they wanted to find a grandiose excuse for themselves and turn improper behavior into righteousness.
Liu Bang was the Snake Slaying Uprising back then.
Once he was drunk and encountered a big snake blocking his way. The attendants were terrified and persuaded Liu Bang to go back, but Liu Bang cut the big snake in two with a sword.Later, an old woman cried bitterly at the place where the big snake was beheaded, saying that the big snake was the son of the White Emperor, but was killed by the son of the Red Emperor. After speaking, the old woman disappeared.The attendants told Liu Bang about it.Liu Bang was overjoyed, and then he regarded himself as the son of the Red Emperor. Later, the flags of his army were all red!
In ancient times, because of feudal superstition, people were particularly afraid of ghosts and gods, so many people used ghosts and gods as a cover!
But in fact, they have never seen ghosts and gods.Especially those who use ghosts and gods as a cover, they don't believe it at all!
After all, they themselves are nonsense, so how can they believe other people's nonsense!
But Liu Bang can't expose it now, because he doubts Xia Yu, which is tantamount to questioning himself!
"Bold and lunatic, how dare you pretend to be an immortal and fool Pei Gong, come and take this guy down!" Fan Kui slapped the table with his palm and shouted loudly.
Fan Kuai's wife is Lv Wei, she is Lu Zhi's younger sister and Liu Bang's brother-in-law, and she has won the trust of Liu Bang and Lu Zhi.He used to kill dogs, and Fan Kuai's dog meat is also very famous in later generations.Liu Bang killed the snake and rebelled, fooling the world, and he knew what was going on in his heart.Seeing Xia Yu pretending to be a fairy now, of course he wants to reprimand him!
Several soldiers rushed in outside the tent, ready to capture Xia Yu!
Seeing this, Xia Yu laughed, and said, "You ordinary people are really blind!"
There is a bronze censer on both sides of Liu Bang's handsome case, weighing hundreds of catties. Xia Yu stretched out her hand to grab the pardon, and the two censers flew over from the air, and then kneaded the two censers into a copper ball with bare hands, and finally threw them on the ground .
As the copper ball fell, there was a muffled bang, and everyone present was stunned!
Even brave generals like Han Xin and Fan Kui would not be able to do such a thing!
Nobody can!
This power has exceeded the limit of human beings!
"I am the leader of the Dragon Sect, the supreme god who stands shoulder to shoulder with Yuanshi Tianzun. The fourth calamity is coming, and this is the venue for the decisive battle between Shenlong Cult and Chanjiao. Chanjiao chooses to support Xiang Yu, and I will support you. While defeating Xiang Yu, I will also defeat Yuanshi Tianzun. I know it's hard for you to believe, but it doesn't matter, I will sit down and explain to you slowly!" Xia Yu said.
"Give me a seat!" Although Liu Bang was still in a state of extreme confusion, Xia Yu squeezed the incense burner weighing hundreds of catties into a copper ball with his bare hands, which is enough to show that he is not an ordinary person!
Even if he is not a fairy, he possesses such heaven-defying power, and on the battlefield, he will definitely be an invincible general who sweeps away thousands of troops!
Overlord holding a tripod, awesome.
But compared to this Xia Yu, she is simply weak!
If Xiang Yu met this Xia Yu, he would probably be slapped to death!
After Xia Yu sat down with Yu Ji, she kept the long story short and only talked about the main points, but still kept everyone present in a daze.Because they had never been in contact with gods before, they had no idea what Xia Yu was talking about!
However, Zhang Liang believed it!
In the just-concluded Battle of Julu, the Chu army defeated the Qin army with fewer troops.But in fact, this classic battle, famous in ancient and modern times, is completely Xiang Yu's personal show.Zhang Liang learned that it was Xiang Yu who killed 40 Qin troops alone, and Xiang Yu's army, as well as the coalition forces of the princes, were watching the battle the whole time!
One man against 40 troops, what kind of concept is this?
Zhang Liang only heard about it last night!
In the process of fighting against the Qin army, Xiang Yu has always played the main role, and his contribution is also very great.However, Liu Bang, who had no merit, rushed into Guanzhong before him. According to the anti-Qin Yijun's covenant of "the one who entered Guanzhong first", Liu Bang should become the king of Guanzhong, and Liu Bang also regarded himself as the "King of Guanzhong" very bluntly. , which made Xiang Yu very upset.And Fan Zeng also suggested that Xiang Yu immediately get rid of the scourge of Liu Bang!
Xiang Bo had a very good relationship with Zhang Liang. Seeing that Xiang Yu was about to send troops to destroy Liu Bang, he came to Zhang Liang last night and persuaded Zhang Liang to flee immediately.Zhang Liang was very sincere to Liu Bang, so he told Liu Bang the news.Liu Bang panicked to death, he now only has 40 troops, and Xiang Yu has [-] troops, he can't beat Xiang Yu at all.
Today, Liu Bang called everyone together to discuss countermeasures!
According to the historical script, Zhang Liang's strategy for Liu Bang was to ask him to meet Uncle Xiang to show his attitude, and he had no ambition to be king.
But what I didn't expect was that Xia Yu and Yu Ji came!
Xia Yu explained: "What you don't know is that after Xiang Yu was reincarnated, he attained Taoism and became an immortal, and was fortunate enough to become the disciple of the Erlang God Yang Jian. He practiced the Eighth-Nine Profound Kungfu, and now he is the Great God of the Golden Immortal. I once wanted to win over He, but he was so conceited that he became an enemy of me beyond his control. I beat him seriously and took Yu Ji away. He became furious and fought with me forever. Now, Shenlongjiao wants to cooperate with Chanjiao In the battle of luck, he volunteered and came in person. After I learned about it, I immediately descended to help you. In the battle of Julu, he killed 40 Qin troops by himself. In fact, this is nothing at all. In the powerful In front of Jinxian, you mortals are just ants!"
"What is a golden fairy?" Han Xin asked.
"The cultivation system is from low to high, which are ghost immortals, human immortals, loose immortals, earth immortals, heavenly immortals, golden immortals, and heavenly gods. Xiang Yu is a golden immortal, Yuji is also a golden immortal now, and I am a heavenly god. Now I give You guys simply explain what the concepts of each level are!" Xia Yu said.
For a long time to come, Xia Yu will have to get along with these people, and what they are about to face is not the ordinary Chu-Han struggle for hegemony, the nature of it has all changed, so it is still necessary to give them popular science and cultivation knowledge of!
After listening to Xia Yu's explanation, people like Liu Bang gradually realized Xia Yu's awesomeness and sharpness.If Xia Yu wasn't kidding, then his strength is really impressive.Although they have never heard of what the Dragon Lord is, they know people like Yuanshi Tianzun, Chi You, and Xing Tian.Xia Yu said that he killed Chi You, Xing Tian and the others.If this is not pretentious, then it is really awesome!
But what Xia Yu said was too illusory and misty, it was really hard to be convinced!
At this time, Mrs. Qi, who was silent for a while, actually spoke!
In fact, the moment Xia Yu and Yu Ji appeared, she couldn't hold back anymore!
Because she knew Xia Yu's identity, and knew how awesome this handsome and tall young man was in the Three Realms!
The reason why she is sitting here is to wait for Xia Yu's arrival!
Madam Qi got up suddenly, walked in front of Xia Yu, bowed and said: "Little God Qigu, I pay my respects to the leader of Shenlong, Great Immortal Yuji!"
Her actions not only made Xia Yu a little overwhelmed, Liu Bang and Han Xin were all dumbfounded!
In history, Liu Bang only met Mrs. Qi when he was the king of Han.The current Liu Bang has not been sealed yet.After the Hongmen Banquet, Xiang Yu led his army into Xianyang City, burned Afang Palace, killed Qin Prince Ying, and then began to distribute the throne to various princes, and named Liu Bang the King of Han, so later, he used Han as the country name to establish of the Han Dynasty.
In other words, at this time, Liu Bang didn't know Mrs. Qi yet!
She was able to appear in advance and come to Liu Bang's side because, like Xiang Yu, Xia Yu and Yu Ji, she is not from this parallel world!
In addition to her, there are many people who later became immortals, because they wanted to participate in and witness this decisive battle, so they all came!
The purpose of these people is very simple, without exception, they all want to please Xia Yu by contributing their meager strength, and hug him with thick legs!
Seeing that Xia Yu was a little dazed, Madam Qi smiled, and then explained: "The little god's status is so humble, it's too insignificant, and it's reasonable for the leader not to know about it!"
"Uh--there are thousands of immortal residences, I really don't know much about them!" Xia Yu said.
Yu Ji said: "I know, she is the toilet god, in charge of the world's toilets!"
"There is such a god?" Xia Yu asked in surprise.
"Hmm!" Yu Ji said, "This is a righteous god who ranks among the immortals!"
"Lv Pheasant tortured me inhumanely and made me die tragically in the hut. Because of the sympathy and compassion for me in later generations, I was gradually enshrined by the people. I got the power of faith and reincarnated. The path of cultivating immortals was finally conferred by the heavenly court. Besides me, there was also He Mei from the Tang Dynasty. She is the god of Zigu, and I am the god of Qigu. It’s just that we are all gods who can’t be smaller. He doesn't have much status in the Heavenly Court, let alone fame, the leader is powerful in the three worlds, powerful, so it's understandable that he doesn't know a little god like me!" Madam Qi said.
She came here with great pains, just to let Xia Yu know her!
"Madam Qi, what nonsense are you talking about, don't slander Madam Lu!" Fan Kuai said.
She said that Lu Zhi tortured her with a human pig, damn it, it's just nonsense.Fan Kuai is Lu Zhi's brother-in-law, and Lu Zhi is Liu Bang's original spouse. At this time, he must stand up and defend Lu Zhi!
Mrs. Qi is being spoiled by Liu Bang now, but you can't frame and slander Lu Zhi just because of this, this kind of behavior is really vicious!
Madam Qi glanced at Fan Kui, but ignored him. After all, what she said was the truth, but these things will happen in the future, and they can't explain it to them now.As long as Xia Yu knows what's going on!
Hearing Madam Qi's words, Xia Yu realized that Madam Qi was indeed poisoned to death by Lu's pheasant in history!